The Perks of Being a Wallflower: Self Identity

In “The Perks of Being a Wallflower,” Stephen Chbosky manipulates a coming of age account of a traumatised teenage boy. This is in order to explore how exposure to new people and situations expands a person's understanding of themselves, but can leave them unsure about their identity when these people or situations are removed.

Before the narrative’s meaning comes across, the title, “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”, itself provides commentary on social outcasts. Charlie, the protagonist, is a character who prefers to observe and understand rather than participate. “‘He [Charlie] is a wallflower [...] You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.” Chbosky’s metaphor is implicitly evident throughout the story, drawing parallels to actual wallflowers and what they require in order to flourish. Wallflowers grow slowly, but with access to pollination from “social butterflies” and exposure to things like sunlight they develop just like the others. Charlie represents this wallflower, slowly drawn out by the new people he meets. At times Charlie, struggles with remaining open when these people are removed, but eventually learns to strive all on his own.

To begin with, Chbosky hauntingly portrays Charlie’s ache for companionship through his desperate letters sent out to a stranger. “I just need to know that someone out there listens and understand [...]” starts Charlie, before he goes on to explain why these letters are being mailed out. From this sentence, and the first few letters that Charlie writes to this person, the reader is able to infer that Charlie doesn’t have much social support and is looking for someone to simply be there for him.

If self-identity is defined as being sure of yourself, your likes, dislikes and your relationships with others, Charlie doesn’t truly develop one until near the end of the novel. He isn’t quite sure of his ability to cope with pain, especially without his friends as a distraction, and is constantly fearful of returning to the bad mental place he was in before the book began. In his very last letter he states “believe it or not, I’m really not afraid of going,” in context of the first day of his sophomore year, even though all of his friends have departed. In comparison to his first letter where he states his fear for his first day of freshman year due to his lack of friends and support system. This shows how as the book progressed his positive experience when approaching someone in an uncomfortable situation taught him to open up to new people and go out of his way to create relationships.

Charlie’s journey and development throughout the book also explores the pressures that society places on the youth to only partake in activities they are well versed in. “‘Well are you dancing at these dances?’ ‘I’m not very good dancer’”. Charlie’s fear of judgment leads to lack of participation which results in a lack of experience and exposure. This lack of experience and exposure lessens his idea of what he likes and dislikes, a great part of any person’s identity. With help from his friends, and his english teacher, Charlie slowly learns to disregard this pressure and steps out of his comfort zone to learn more about his peers and himself. “In terms of participation in things, I am trying to go to school events they set up in my school [...] Things like the homecoming football game and the dance even if I don’t have a date.” Once he starts doing this, he gains confidence in himself individually, even without the support of having someone by his side through unfamiliar circumstances.

As his confidence grows, Charlie begins to value his self discovery and constantly tries new things in order to further discover who he is as a person. One example of this is showcased through his love of certain music. “Before we left the party, Sam played me a few of her favourite songs.” Charlie’s exposure to different kinds of music starts with his sister’s boyfriend and slowly extends to his new friends Sam and Patrick. Soon after being introduced to the power of music, he realises the importance of “belong[ing] to something when [you’re] sad” and how music can unite a large group of people. This exposure is relevant in his journey, as it gives him a coping mechanism, which later allows his to build his independence and teaches him to survive without help from his friends. Charlie’s growth is evident in many different scenarios, but the authentication of Chbosky’s manipulation of Charlie’s growth is showed in the last letter he ever writes. He ends the letter by stating “I’m not sure if I will have the time to write any more letters because I might be too busy trying to ‘participate’”. This not only shows he has grown out of his fear of participation, but also reveals his want for self identity and a diverse knowledge in his likes and dislikes.

In conclusion, Charlie battles through his struggle with codependency to prove that learning about yourself from others helps you build your confidence, but true self identity is knowing that you can flourish without them.

By Akanksha

The Silent Ones

The teacher picked on her again. Her discomfort in constantly being picked on was visible, but the teacher either ignored it or turned a blind eye towards her.
One Mississippi: The question was thrown at her. She doesn't catch it and asks the teacher to repeat the question. With exaggerated exasperation, the teacher repeats.
Two Mississippi: Her eyes are glued to the floor. The teacher hovers above her, like a bee circling a flower to see if there is any remaining nectar, impatiently tapping her foot without a constant beat. The teacher adjusts her glasses to position them below the bench of her nose and looks at the student from above the rim. "Well? Do you know?"
Three Mississippi: Her mind wanders. She thinks about the first time the teacher picked on her and how everybody laughed at her for answering incorrectly. She wishes she was someplace where “quiet” was valued and practiced.
Four Mississippi- She takes more time looking at the intriguing white floor before she finally answers.
Five Mississippi- Everyone's laughing and the teacher looks like she could bang her own head repeatedly on the wall. The student slides deeper into the chair, wishing she was invisible and wonders why the teacher constantly picks on her even though she is a smart but quiet child afraid of attention.

Research shows that this event is not an anomaly. In fact, you may be surprised to find that this happens often, but we’re too caught up in ourselves to really understand why. About 1/3-1/2 of the worlds population is made up of introverts. The oxford dictionary defines an introvert as “A person predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things.”

So why do teachers pick on the quiet but smart kids? Many people often confuse introversion with shyness. In fact, being shy has nothing to do with being an introvert. When questioned, 7/22 grade 8 students answered or included “shy” as part of their definition of introverts. Susan Cain, a very educated professor in this branch of psychology says that “Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that aren’t over-simulating. Shyness is inherently painful. Introversion is not.”

While extroverts tend to gain energy when being in the spotlight, introverts recharge from solitude and feel drained when in the spotlight. It is easy to think that those who move or prefer fame are extroverts, but that doesn’t apply to everyone. In fact, many famous people / world changers, in whatever time frame, have been distinguished as introverts, some among them being Bill Gates, Mahatma Gandhi, and our very own Hermione Granger. Yet, we make such little room for introverts, and try to change their personality instead of appreciating and understanding it. “We are told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable. We can see ourselves as a nation of extroverts- which means we’ve lost sight of who we really are.” says susan cain

If the statistic proving how many introverts there are in the world surprised you, it’s probably because so many introverts are changing. Acting different in front of others. Shivani Dayal, a grade 8 student from UWC said that “Earlier, I used to be a complete introvert, but gradually have become a bit of an ambivert (a mix of introversion and extraversion) because of how much more the world prefers extroverts.” “This affects me because I always put on a smiley face even when i don’t want to be with [some people] because its what [those people] expect.” Mr Raisdana, an introvert says. “They call me depressed when i’m actually not.

Is this what we want our world to turn into? Monsters for not appreciating those angels around us? Confusing two morally very different topics, shyness and introversion? We need to spread the word about this topic. Parents, teachers, colleagues, bosses and friends make mistakes by only preferring the loud ones. What they don’t understand is that everyone is unique. Discrimination between black and whites would still be there if not for Rosa Parks. If her family disowned her for saying one of the most powerful words- "no" - if Martin Luther King Jr. didn’t help her, we wouldn’t be living in a world where discrimination between colors was significantly reduced. She was an introvert.

If Mahatma Gandhis act to gain independence for India wasn’t supported by the people, India might be under the rule of the Britishers right now. He was also an introvert.

If you are a parent or teacher that don’t know if your child is an introvert or your student is an introvert, watch this video by Susan Cain or read her book called “Quiet”. Parents, interact with your child more. Understand their problems in school. Look at their past and see if they have ever not liked to go to over-simulating places like homecoming. Teachers, stop picking on kids who might be quiet but are smart, because as Susan Cain said, “There's zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.” . Find another way like using the internet to get the child to “talk.” And children. If you have a friend you know is introvert, don’t leave them alone saying that they are boring or shy. Many people believe that you can choose what path you want to take going forward, but we are giving introverts only one road called “extroversion is better.” Lets change that.

Written By: Ananya