Are Parents Pushing Kids Too Hard?

On Monday the 8th of September , an eighth grader was seen in the UWCSEA East karate dojo, After school. He was seen talking to Shihan, the head instructor about joining the activity. The 8th grader , was new to martial arts , whereas his older brother had joined the dojo 4 years prior. As this reporter noted when watching the class, the difference of four years of practice was huge. Even though the older sibling had only been doing this martial art for four years, he had attended practices multiple times a week and went to most of the sparring tournaments and gradings.

Meanwhile, the younger sibling was struggling through the vigorous stretching exercises and warm ups, and evidently unused to and uncomfortable with his surroundings. In other words, out of his element. His stance is off and his movements uncertain, always keeping one eye on the instructor and one eye on his older brother. His older brother on the other hand was completely in his element. The older sibling runs through the exercises with confidence, sometimes getting called on by the teacher to count and lead the class, sometimes used as a demonstration example.

As a chinese saying goes “ Practice for 10 years, perform for 10 seconds”. It means you may have to practice many years to become good at something, and the brothers are a great example of the effects of hard practice. Research shows that it takes approximately 10 years to become an “expert” at something. Many people take this to heart, especially parents. As statistics show, many asian families enroll their children into extra curricular activities at an early age and important school subjects such as math, science and english.

Music in particular is a common one. Research shows that studying an instrument helps develop children. Learning to play an instrument requires hand eye coordination, determination and diligence, all good traits to have. But when is enough? Surely there is a limit on how hard you can push a child before their spirit breaks? The true dilemma is how hard to push children. Is it a waste to spend the first few years of a childs life on fun and play, instead of enrolling them in several activities in preparation of school? Or is it more of a waste to let the child grow up without carefree memories of toddlerhood and grow up a smart successful person? Is it right to deprive a young child of happiness? Many parents ponder this, and in this day and age, this could mean the difference between a happy childhood and a depressed one.

Written by Jasmine